Is it Really All About Anxiety?

Three different people, all of whom I respect, have recently said something to me like, "All you ever talk about is anxiety." To which I've responded with something like, "Well, of course. Everything about mental health and spirituality is ultimately about anxiety, so what else would I talk about?"

I don't want to be reductionistic, and I know how easy it can be for a person to end up with only one tool in the tool bag, so I want to run this by you. I'd appreciate your comments. -

My basic view of human beings -- my "anthropology" so to speak -- has been informed primarily by the family systems theory of Murray Bowen and by my ongoing journey with the Christian faith tradition. I'm pretty sure these ideas are consistent with many schools of psychology, and with the more "mature" expressions of many religious traditions.

My view of human beings leads me to embrace the following ideas, which then guide the way I function as a therapist.

1. Mentally and spiritually healthy people are generally hopeful, content, thoughtful, relational, and loving. The ultimate indicator of maturity from a Christian standpoint is sacrificial love (which, by the way, does not mean being a doormat).

2. However, life constantly confronts us with various challenges that generate anxiety and challenge our capacity to be loving.

3. When we are generally "healthy," we are able to receive anxiety as a warning sign that something is going on that needs attention. We are able to step back, realistically assess the situation, choose a reasonable course of action, and follow through. When I'm in a good place, I see the anxiety as MY responsibility, and do not expect others to manage it for me. I might even see the anxiety as a GIFT that reveals pockets of immaturity in me that need attention.

4. Sometimes a situation generates more anxiety than a person can manage. This creates, by definition, a "crisis." When we are in crisis mode we become reactive, losing the ability to think creatively about our circumstances.

5. When we are in crisis, and become reactive, we tend to engage in short term strategies that might temporarily alleviate the anxiety, but are rarely effective in the long run (unless you happen to be an alligator) These reactive responses include things like attacking, running, blaming, giving in, etc...

6. In any crisis, therefore, it is imperative that we get the help we need to manage the most pressing aspects of our anxiety in order to not make our situation worse (if I respond to my wife leaving me by "medicating" myself with several 12 packes of Corona, and then wreck my car, I've not exactly elevated my situation).

7. Some people, however, maintain a chronic level of anxiety that virtually keeps them in a state of reactivity 24/7. This chronic anxiety may come from any number of sources, but, without support, we usually develop chronically life-limiting stragies that allow us to cope with the anxiety just well enough to get through the day. (Many marriages devolve into a connection that is little more than an exercise in reactive anxiety management.)

8. Twenty-plus years of experience as a therapist, along with my own stumbling attempts to understand and cope with the challenges of my life, have convinced me that we will not move from the ditch of ineffective coping strategies back on to the road towards maturity unless we understand and address our anxiety.

There's so much more to say on the subject, but I think this summary captures the gist.

What do YOU think? Am I being too simplistic or reductionistic?

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"Our" Sermon

This morning I'll be preaching the sermon you've helped me develop. You'll find a link to the full text below. I received several helpful ideas from you. Some of these shaped this sermon very directly. Other ideas were stimulating, but did not seem to fit with the direction the sermon was taking for me. Regardless, I'm so very grateful for your comments. I did want to share one particular thought about the Garden story that some of you touched on, and that one of my friends clarified for me - that some read this story as actually about an "awakening" rather than a "fall." Earlier in the week I sent an early draft of the sermon to my friend Milton, the Bible "expert." (See note below)

In the email exchanges that followed, I asked Milt if any of the church fathers read this as an awakening story. Here's a portion of his response:

Yeah. The earliest reading of the garden story was not as a fall at all. Iranaeus read it as though the original couple were children in the garden. Their disobedience was therefore naïve and caused them to grow up, as it were. Thanks to Augustine (and the eventual state legitimization of Xianity), the church began to read the story as a “fall.” Quite a switch. So, there’s a serious difference between an Iranaean theodicy and an Augustinian one. John Hick, I think, has an interesting article on this. Pagel’s book, Adam and Eve and the Serpent, explains this garden reading more thoroughly.

I'm offering this to you for two reasons: 1) I thought you might find it interesting, and 2) I think this is a good example of how complex the development of our Christian "tradition" can be. Religious education rarely includes an overview of the many competing points of view that make up our interpretive tradition. Hence, many people simply assume that the understandings of scripture they were taught as children are the only true interps.

But I digress... the sermon can be found at: Do You Really Want a Choice?

Note: Milton is one of those amazing guys who reads about 42 ancient languages, earned a D.Phil from Oxford, teaches in a religion department, AND is an expert piano technician. As Milton's wife, Karen, likes to say, "My husband is brilliant in numerous ways... none of which earn any money."